The family and I relocated to the UK nearly two years ago, after a seven-year stint in Singapore. We’re here now, nearly permanently, if there’s such a thing. From the 24-hour city lights of London, NYC and Singapore to deepest darkest suburbia (DDS)… OMG, what have we done?!
I remember sitting down at the Costa Coffee when we first hit suburbia (not knowing where the good coffees were hiding at that stage!) and asking the barista, “umm is this it? Is this the whole town?!” It was a bit rude to ask but I think I was still in shock. Town!!? This isn’t even town, it’s suburbia!!
So what has been my biggest challenge since hitting suburbia? Oh oops, what am I talking about?! There is not one single challenge, there are CHALLENGES. But read to the end, there are some up-sides too.
The driving challenge
We’ve been ticking along, very blissfully, without a car for nearly 20 years. Oh wait, I tell a lie, there was a very brief period, before we moved to NYC, when we did have a car, in the streets of London too! It was merely to transport daughter #1 to daycare and back so I could be at work for 9am. We filled up the tank once a quarter and I’d knock on the doors of my neighbours to request assistance in parking. I’d ask complete strangers to help me reverse down our narrow, London street whenever the need arose (and it did, every Tuesday – garbage day). Needless to say, Tuesdays became The Man’s day to take daughter #1 to daycare. Funny how I remember which day it was, even now. I was a bit stressed about the whole driving thing!
Fast forward to 2015. When I first picked up our car from the dealership, I honestly had heart failure driving the car all on my own. The Man was at work. Also imagine my daughters’ faces when, despite that new car sitting in the driveway, I told them we were catching the bus to Kingston because I didn’t dare drive the 10 minutes there! Nor did I know how to park the beast of my Mini (thereafter, affectionately known as “Mimi”) in a parking station.
Now after nearly two years in deepest darkest suburbia, we’ve found ourselves with not one but two cars!! How did it get to this??! Deepest darkest suburbia, damn you!
I still find myself driving around the block to avoid turning right into traffic and my mum friends at school give me a cheer and a whoop whoop when I successfully maneuver “Mimi” into a car space designed for the obligatory suburban 7-seater 4WD. My first question upon going anywhere new would be, “what’s the parking like?”. I’ve managed to avoid going on any M roads (i.e. motorways) for fear of having to change lanes at speeds of 70 mph….and yet, I managed to pick up a speeding ticket in my first year of driving! Don’t ask.
The train / public transport challenge
For the first time in many many years, I’ve found I’ve had to engrave train times on my hand. Ok I lie. There’s an app for that (Trainline, for anyone that’s interested!). I miss the easy days when I’ve just had to casually rock up to the tube/subway/MRT at whatever time I deigned and find my tube/train waiting for me on the platform. Now, not only do I have to be aware of the time, but I have to be ready like 15 minutes before, just to chivvy the kids to the loo, wait for them to find their right shoes and coordinating jackets and yell, “have you got your zip cards?”! AND, if you don’t catch the train during off-peak hours, you’ll need to re-mortgage your home on those peak train fares! The Man said, on buying his first annual travel card in DDS, that he had just paid more for that, than the entire seven years he spent on the MRT in Singapore!
Missing city life
OK, so we’ve been very blessed. We’ve always lived centrally, in London, in NYC and in Singapore. We’ve always been within walking distance of grocery shops, fabulous cafes, shops, pharmacists, bakeries, green markets etc. In NYC, I spent many hours and days walking downtown, uptown, crosstown, to parks. If I had an M&M craving in the middle of the night (and unfortunately there were too many nights of M&M cravings), I just had to duck out of our apartment block and cross the road into Duane Reade for it.
The shops in Singapore were open late too. If we ran out of milk, no problems, it was less than a 5-minute walk down to Orchard Road. Yes, 24-hour supermarkets do exist in suburbia, but my point is, it is just that much easier in the city. You just walked out the front door, and bang, the shops were just there. In deepest darkest suburbia, everything seems to shut early. Forget about walking to a 24-hour mart… that would be a drive!
Fantastic coffee shops were easy to find too (in the cities). During the latter half of our time in Singapore, brilliant independant cafes had sprung up all over the island. It has taken a while but I do have my go-to cafes in DDS now – big cheer!
In case you do hit my way, suburbia Surrey, these are my go-to coffee spots (there may be more on these to come):
- The 1955 Club: 56 The Heart, Hepworth Way, Walton-On-Thames KT12 1GH
Facebook: the1955club - Brontes: Café 28 Hollyhedge Rd, Cobham KT11 3DG
Facebook: brontescafe
- G!ro: 2 High St, Esher KT10 9RT
www.girocycles.com/pages/cafe
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not all challenges! There are many, many positives so I’m only listing a few below to give those of you who may be moving (or have moved) out of the city some hope. 🙂
Nature
I feel so blessed everytime we visit the local woods, especially since we’d lived in the busy-ness of the city for so long. I really can’t even begin to describe the smells there, the colours and that feeling of open-ness and freedom. We take full advantage of nature here. I love the walks I do, at least once a week, with friends, sometimes a muddy obstacle course and many times with frozen toes and fingers!
My two girls love getting down and dirty with it all too. The majestic dens they build with fallen branches and sticks and the many hidden trails they find to get me completely and utterly lost (thank goodness for daughter #1’s keen sense of direction, or we’d be forever lost in the woods with not even a Mars bar between the three of us).
A garden (with a summerhouse no less)
It can be such a pain to mow in the summers but The Man has a ride-on mower for that – it came with the house. Apparently it’s de rigueur in DDS. Everyone’s had a turn riding it and cutting the lawn in pretty stripes – except me, and I’m good with that.
There’s a lot to do yet – i.e. there are no flower beds, no colour – but all in good time, and really, we’re not garden-people. This is the first time we’ve have a yard bigger that a handkerchief. And the first time we do, it’s a backyard more than 30m long – and uh, we’re not garden-people. We don’t start small, do we? Thank goodness, we found a lovely elderly couple who come at the start of each season to do our flower pots and baskets for us. Our first summer here was insane fun, many BBQs with friends and family, football sessions with visiting cousins late into the night and lunch and dinners al fresco. Don’t forget, it’s still light out here till 10pm in the summertime. All we need is an outdoor fire pit to extend the summer nights well into Autumn.
Space
We have so much space compared to our previous homes in London, NYC and Singapore. So much so that it appears we have taken minimalism to a whole new level! Again, all in good time to furnish and decorate. Though I recently fell in love with a vintage drinks trolley. I had to scour the internet for it and guess what, I found one in deepest darkest suburbia no less!! So the filling up of space is starting!
Safer roads
Bike rides, scooting and skating on suburban roads mean no heart palpitations every time we step out. I’m quite happy for the 12 and 10YO to ride out on their own, without fear of them being bulldozed down by a bus. I, myself, have even ventured onto the roads with my pretty red city bike, unlike in Singapore, where it was strictly footpath riding, much to the chagrin of pedestrians on Orchard Rd!
Deepest darkest suburbia, it’s an adjustment. But I am happy here for now.
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